this thing that says I’m
a “Preservationist”
a “Peacemaker”
a “Mediator”
a type 9?
What
is it all about?
I
questioned it with doubt.
It
knew all my secrets
All
the little bits and pieces
Of my personality
Things I didn’t want to see
It
knew I loved being lazy
Even
though I stayed very busy
And
that I accomplished and achieved
But
when work was done I was so relieved
To
know I could be
Just me
I
needed to learn more
About this thing called an enneagram
learn more about myself
about things I never realized
but somehow always
knew
about things I’d never named
but recognized when
I heard it
More and more and more about me
The me I wanted to
Just be
I
learned
How I delude myself
How strong my drive to avoid conflict
How passively aggressive I am
I knew
It was true
How I am un-self-conscious
And have always found
Ways and reasons
To not think about myself
I knew
It was true
How I avoid my own anger
and how important
it is
to keep the peace
And how I don’t like
negative feelings
so much so that
I detach from myself
by ‘numbing out’
which
is withdrawing
into a sleep
deep inside
myself
where,
neither you, nor anyone else
can
get me
A place where I can be
peaceful,
calm and safe
And I can
just
be
me
And I knew
It was true
So here it was
My wake up call
Come
you type 9
Stop
self forgetting
Wake
up to who you are
Observe
yourself
Be
present, in the moment
Get
angry, in the moment
No
matter how frightening
I
need to start ‘fighting’
You
know that’s right
And
I knew
It
was all true
And
then came our holy idea
Our essence
What
the entire process
Of
learning and experiencing
The
enneagram
Is
really all about
This
is the point and purpose
Of
the journey I’ve been on
…to touch my essence
Unconditional love
Holy love
An
essence that I’ve always known
I’ve experienced it
I have felt it deep inside
And now, I’ve come home
to my essence
And what a beautiful place
and space that is
to be
Where love
and faith
and hope reside
Somewhere deep down inside
where I can find
the Divine
and I can be
just me
Thank
you
Carole,
Gloria and fellow students
For
leading me to that place.
by Judy Shoob
by Judy Shoob
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