Thursday, December 12, 2013

“In the After Glow – Reflections on “Love, Spirit and Relationships” Part II with David Daniels and Russ Hudson


AEA December Blog – Robin Cameron – Part II
“In the After Glow – Reflections on “Love, Spirit and Relationships” with David Daniels and Russ Hudson

Interspersed throughout the Daniels/Hudson weekend were one-two-and three liners that themselves could be workshop-starters.  Here are my personal favorites:

When introduced to the Enneagram by Helen Palmer, I recognized the patterns that I already was discovering on my own.  DD

Early on, I discovered the typologies as what we do instead of being present.  I came to understand how my patterns take me out of myself, and how – when we meet those patterns with understanding, kindness, and presence – we don’t have to get rid of them but they transform.  RH

The hope for all of us is the personality becomes interwoven with the essential qualities, which allow us to live in the world relating with those higher qualities.  DD

We need to take in the implications of our patterns, which lead to the virtues and how we can stay awake to each other.  RH

The power of the Enneagram is enormous.  How do we live from presence, what does that require so that we become more whole?  That is what we are addressing.  DD  

The idea is to interrupt the fixations of these patterns so they can get to the real you.  It is not about fixing the other person!  RH

 Three basic aversive emotions are common to 100 million years of mammalian evolution: Anger (Rage), Distress (when you lose connection resulting in stress, pain, longing, shame), and Fear.  DD

We begin to understand our type is not our self.  We use our patterns and energy to manage the aversive emotions through distraction by reducing the frame of focus so we don’t notice something else; it shrinks down perception that was objectively overwhelming to us as kids.  It is good to know as adults where the volume control and on-off switch is.  RH

Personality tries to keep anger, distress, and fear away, thinking these things are wrong.  So we either amplify them or eliminate or run away from them.  The work is to get to what’s underneath.  DD

 So we learn ways to connect with ourselves to open up a field of awareness; we learn other ways of being with our aversive emotions.  RH

In life three great energies are always present – active, receptive and balancing/ reconciling energy.  In our modern life we go far away from receptive energy which is so necessary for presence and compassion. DD

When (our patterns are) running, our consciousness falls into narrowed-down, fixated, identified patterns and we’re caught in a dualized consciousness, which leads nowhere.  What the Enneagram teaches is the triadic pattern – that there is always a third component that drops out when we are not present.  The question then is what drops out when we’re stuck; and what drops back in when we are present?  Stasis is fantasy.  RH

We need good process with content, the 5 A’s:  DD (and RH)
Awareness – When we move out of the story into direct experience, we can work with our type’s pattern.
Acceptance – Operating from open heartedness in ourselves with grounded presence. 
Appreciation – When in our pattern and the conflict it produces, we feel no one appreciates us and feel put out.  The ego, wanting connection, creates more structure but not more connection.
Action – Action is where the content comes in through inquiry of the old no longer valid belief.
Adherence –  The hardest of all – the chance to practice and cultivate presence with devotion and regularity, to be awake to our reactivity, for the rest of our life.

The Law of 3 allows us to understand a different way of relating to ourselves out of stuckness.  When there is polarization within myself, if I can see/bring something else in, I soften and see the other differently.  Rigidity softens, I fall back into sacred mystery, sacred ground, and then the polarity softens from you/me to us.  And we’re opened to greater unity.  What we want to explore is how to do this in relationships.  Operationally!  RH

Riso’s rule/Hudson’s theory re what type is it best to be with?  Answer:  Healthy!  RH

The 3 centers (body, heart, mind) bring together three ingredients of presence:  sensation expands you out of your narrow view, the mind transforms, and the heart opens.  DD

Your direct experience is the only non-abstract thing here.  Everything else is an image in your head.  RH

In doing this work, the content is not complicated.  Self- observation is not thinking about the pattern but remembering to breathe etc. while the pattern is occurring!  DD

The more present we are the more there is neuroplasticity, and so more rewiring is possible.  Practice builds.  Befriending our reactivity is to invite presence back.  RH

Change the mind, change the brain.  The mind is relational. Patterns are reflected in the brain.  So that’s the hope of neurobiology.  DD

And coming fully circle – at the professionals’ meeting …
Owning our shadow stuff is how we take our place with each other.  This work can only go so far without a larger consciousness that includes forgiveness.  RH

The attribution theory says “My bad behavior is from circumstances.  Your bad behavior is because of your character!”  The problem goes from the individual all the way to the cold war. 
The foundation for Russ and me is that we have love and respect for each other.  We are fundamentally aligned.  DD

And so it was that for a memorable and historic weekend, we were called into that alignment and higher consciousness, with the invitation to this practice for the rest of our life. 

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

"In the After Glow" Reflections on time with David Daniels and Russ Hudson at "Love, Spirit and Relationships"

AEA December Blog – by Robin Cameron – Part I
“In the After Glow” – Reflections on “Love, Spirit and Relationships” with David Daniels and Russ Hudson

I felt immense gratitude as I experienced a new level of understanding through a score of profound moments at our recent Daniels/Hudson AEA workshop on Love, Spirit and Relationships. Many insights caught my attention, the panel work went to new depths, small group work was intimate, and the incredible choreography between David and Russ reflected their deep regard and respect for one another, which carried into all aspects of the weekend. Even the basics took me deeper as David and Russ danced off each other’s language, David’s from the narrative tradition and Russ’ from his insight approach.

When Russ said, “If we can’t take our place with one other, how are we going to move ahead on the planet,” I knew in that moment why I’ve been so drawn and devoted to the Enneagram. It’s not about “selling” the Enneagram; as he said, I’m drawn in because “it is a way of bringing people into self-observation, compassion, presence and awakening.” Bingo!

That was already clear in David’s introduction to the workshop. “This weekend is about the integration of interweaving the parts of our personality. We (David and Russ) are friends trying to walk our talk. We sometimes experience aspects of higher qualities, but when we interact, these higher aspects then dim. So how do we integrate them within the context of interaction? We’re here to learn with you through the panels and teaching.” So they did, and we were the beneficiaries. Indeed, they modeled all the principles they presented to us.

Panel work examined “peak experiences” and how we invoke the higher qualities when we are present; we were reminded with each type of the gift they bring. Jaye referred to this in her AEA Thanksgiving email with gratitude for the many ways AEA participants support our mission.

• 8s – when present – vulnerable – the 8 heart is empowered, alive, engaged, with an immediacy in the power of now, expressing/being truth, with innocence and presence fresh in the moment.
• 9s – when present – engaged – the 9 heart has the capacity to be, to be present, to land fully, whole, within themselves in unity of experience. Right action with the “engaged heart” leads to incredible power that allows us to be anything – through expansion, unity, and grounded being.
• 1s – when present – non-reactive and serene – the 1 heart has an unexplainable feeling of goodness in the world and self that calls the heart forth – aligned with integrity, felt as a sense of the sacred with an acceptance that brings the feeling of dignity, royal and regal.

• 2s – when present – with humility – the 2 heart recognizes that a different kind of relatedness is possible where love liberates through appreciation and gratitude. It is three-centered – grounded, curious and open-hearted toward the self and other, truly connected, even with a perfect stranger, holding a reality that doesn’t require another person and draws forth what is most supportive.
• 3s – when present – true to themselves – the 3 heart invokes a life infused with a sense of presence, their actions congruent with meaning as an expression of love – from a board meeting to mowing the lawn or walking the dog.
• 4s – when present – joined with Origin – the 4 heart learns who we are beyond the narrative, i.e. who we are right now! Knowing they are not their history, they accept the invitation into profound depth, mystery, intimacy, and beauty – the substance of who we are, the Beloved, who we are in essence, not disconnected but free from chronic disappointment.

• 5s – when present – non-attached – the 5 heart is clear, their senses more operational to awaken the mind, their consciousness clear and illuminated, seeing both the illusion of the patterns that obscure, understanding that the mind cannot hold direct experience, so that something else must!
• 6s – when present – courageous – the 6 heart has a certain quality of awakeness with a capacity to pay attention. This profound act of love, devotedness and mindfulness functions as another kind of knowing what to do and how to move forward with courage to live life powerfully.
• 7s – when present – constant – the 7 heart experiences causeless happiness and the sunlight shining through all kinds of weather. They are expansive, free, and joyful. No matter what may seem to be happening, the lights don’t go out, their flowering supported by deep roots. They make friends within themselves with whom or what can appreciate both the voice of yes and no.

During the panel work many of the highlights were true across the board, no matter the type:
   Opposites don’t know each other; the fallacy is that the one opposite will be lost, but that’s not true! If you feel rejected, give yourself a new job; take care of the inner wounded child! Ask yourself what arises to meet the different parts of you to hold it all lightly.
   Peak experiences are the direct experience of a deeper reality with elements of presence.
   The blessing is to work with our reactivity; i.e. when I feel disempowered in some way, which I then want to separate from! The Question: How can I be with that energy differently?
   When we are not present, the caring part of care drops out. It’s not that the action is wrong, but that there is something deeper that wants to be expressed. Question: What would make your relationship more fulfilling? There is a way of being with reaction that can feel into the virtue.
   When I breathe into alignment, it brings a force field! This is not about striving, but allowing the acceptance of vital energy. It is actively receptive!
    People come and go but Love does not! Kindness is the quality of attunement that draws forth what is most supportive. Without this quality we don’t trust enough to show up!
    Because we are made in the image of God, we seek to bestow; but since we are not precisely God, we can only give as we receive.
    Resistance comes from some historical data coming into your body. Chronic dissatisfaction is the result of longing, seeking in the wrong place. When you have a lot of pain, something important is not very far away. Anxiety, the future tense of fear, is around the edge of a breakthrough of some kind.
    Sometimes we try to be tender when we haven’t owned our anger. If we go through it, then we can be tender with grounded presence which allows the other to heal. We create space for the other to take responsibility for them.

Part II - will be a sharing of the memorable one-two-and-three liners that David and Russ said.  To be published next week.